Education never ends

Review of Fuchs: Love, sex and stuff like that

Author

Peter Fuchs (born May 17, 1949) is a German sociologist who was Professor of General Sociology and Sociology of Disability at Neubrandenburg University of Applied Sciences from 1992 to 2007. After a career as a curative education nurse, he studied social sciences and sociology at various universities and received his doctorate from Justus Liebig University Giessen in 1991. Fuchs' theoretical work is strongly influenced by Luhmann's systems theory and focuses on the functioning of social systems. He also founded an institute for the general theory of meaning systems.

Background

The book Liebe, Sex und solche Sachen: Zur Konstruktion moderner Intimsysteme is based on a series of lectures and a colloquium given by Peter Fuchs and subsequently revised and published. It was finally published as a book in 1999 and brings together the thoughts and discourses from these academic events. The framework of the lecture allows Fuchs to unfold the complex themes of love and intimacy in a free and experimental style designed for interaction and reflection. By referring to Niklas Luhmann's systems theory and embedding it in basic sociological questions, a multifaceted study of modern intimate systems emerged that illuminates and critically questions the dynamics and challenges of modern love relationships. The colloquium enabled him to introduce additional perspectives and questions into the work, which enrich the book and shed light on the topic from different theoretical angles.

Structure and contents
The book Liebe, Sex und solche Sachen: Zur Konstruktion moderner Intimsysteme is divided into a preface, fourteen lectures and a final colloquium. The structure follows that of a university lecture series, in which questions and comments from the students are taken up at the beginning of each session. This interactive method allows Fuchs to flexibly adapt his theoretical explanations to the questions and interests of the audience and to respond to critical questions. The individual lectures offer a systematic exploration of the topics of love, intimacy and social constructions of modern intimate systems. Finally, the colloquium reflects on the most important findings and provides a space for in-depth discussions.

Peter Fuchs analyzes modern love and intimate systems from a systems theory perspective without providing a fixed definition of love. Instead, he shows how the concepts of love, sexuality and intimacy are shaped by social construction and manifest themselves in social systems. He thus uses the scientific means of sociology to examine the “particular social form [...] of intimacy” (p. 20). For the sociologist Fuchs, love is not a fixed construct, but a multitude of “distinctions that are precisely not this: Identities” (p. 12). In modernity, he states, it is impossible to say “what love is”, as it cannot be conceived without difference and historical variation (p. 13). For there is no essential or ontological definition of love. Instead, love as a social construct is not an immutable substance.

Fuchs distinguishes between psychological and social systems. While the psychological system is based on thoughts and sensations and thus enables subjective experience, the social system is a network of communications that is “precisely not an experiencing system”, but an extremely complex construct that transcends experience (p. 14). This difference runs through the entire work as a central theme and illuminates how love takes on different meanings in both systems. Insights that follow from this differentiation can seem counterintuitive to everyday knowledge. For example, the belief that sexuality and love have something to do with each other is widespread. However, Fuchs emphasizes once again that “the desire of individuals and the bodies [...] are not components of the intimate system” (p. 45). The irritation that can result from this statement can be explained, among other things, by the “prescription of a sexual mythology” (p. 47).

The question of the social construction of love and the associated expectations plays a special role in Fuchs' analysis. For Fuchs, lovers in modern intimate systems are characterized by the idea that the relationship person is to be accepted in its entirety - which also includes the acceptance of imperfections and idiosyncrasies (p. 28). This “all or nothing” principle gives the intimate system an enormous emotional complexity and often makes it “fundamentally difficult” or even “impossible” (p. 30f.). He describes love as a system that is often characterized by the claim to be allowed to say everything, without this actually always being practicable. Conflicts and misunderstandings are therefore unavoidable in intimate systems and part of “precarious communication” (p. 30). Intimate systems (e.g. romantic relationships) are communicative systems whose goal is less the content of communication than the “how” of communication, whereby unspoken rules and taboos often develop.

Another aspect that Fuchs examines is the connection between intimacy and mythologies. The shared love story functions as a “secondary code” that stabilizes the value and identity of the intimate system and at the same time functions as a “mythology” that can be continuously reinterpreted (p. 63). This integrates the past into the present of the system, giving romantic relationships additional stability, but also ambivalence. The concept of love is therefore not a natural state, but is shaped and mediated by social distinctions. People learn what love is and how it feels through social experiences and cultural guidelines, not through a universal truth. Romantic love is understood as a “symbolically generalized medium of communication” (p. 52) that is shaped by myths and stories. And as an intimate system that “relies on the presuppositions of thought and the perceptions of consciousness being ignored”. (p. 74f.).

From the intimate system of conventional romantic love between two people of the opposite sex follows the cultural demand to move on to another social construct, the family. Fuchs now states “that the family appears as the heir to the intimate system, i.e. as a social system that retains the operation of loving, but thereby abandons the quantitative determinacy of the formal requirement (ZWEI).” (S. 85). This leads to the fact that family in the nowadays dominant form of the narrative of the “nuclear family” on the one hand led to children only being “discovered” as such with the emergence of romantic love. On the other hand, it led to the fact that “children only fall under the operation of loving at the moment when they themselves become addresses of the extended intimate system, i.e. the family.” (S. 87).

Fuchs concludes that modern intimate systems are not designed to explore the “true” nature of love. Rather, it is about the functioning of love and its social construction. He argues that modern society forces us to have “loved at least once in this form” (p. 54), creating a social entitlement to romantic love. Even if people consciously reject this, the cultural pressure remains, as does the unconscious imprinting. The final colloquium offers space for questions that the lectures have raised and allows the core statements to be reflected on once again and, if necessary, to appreciate “that you gain in complexity what you lose in naivety.” (S. 57).

Discussion

Liebe, Sex und solche Sachen: Zur Konstruktion moderner Intimsystemeoffers a profound and analytical perspective on the phenomenon of love and intimacy, based on sociological systems theory. Fuchs manages to apply complex systems theory concepts to such an everyday yet supposedly enigmatic topic as love, providing new food for thought. By separating psychological and social systems, he shows that love can be understood not only as an individual experience, but also as a social phenomenon that is constructed through social and communicative processes.

One of the book's particularly valuable insights is Fuchs' depiction of modern love as a social experiment that reacts to the “loss of EINS” (p. 24). The demand to accept the other in its entirety - including all its “idiosyncrasies” - emphasizes the high complexity and at the same time the fragile nature of modern intimate systems. Fuchs describes these systems as “fundamentally difficult” and “impossible” (p. 30f.), which makes their susceptibility to crisis a central characteristic. This view brings a realistic and often neglected dimension to the discussion of romantic relationships and critically opposes idealized notions of love. For romantic relationships demand communicative transparency and honesty, but paradoxically also a certain restraint so as not to overburden the relationship. Love is therefore often ignorant of the complete openness and authentic communication that modern societies propagate (cf. p. 74f.).

The book also scores with its critical reflection on the role of cultural myths and social expectations. Fuchs' concept of “structural ignorance” (p. 74) describes how intimate systems necessarily deal selectively with information in order to maintain stability. This account presents an astute analysis of the inner workings of love relationships and offers an explanation for the frequent discrepancy between idealized and actual experiences. Two competing worldviews also become clear here: “the Enlightenment paradigm [...] which differs sharply from the Romantic paradigm.” (p. 111f.). For the first obliges open communication about everything, while the second obliges selective concealment.

Another aspect that Fuchs sheds light on is the role of the family as an extended form of the intimate system. Here he shows how the family is characterized by the introduction of “obligatory love” - a normative expectation of affection and closeness that unfolds even when “psychologically there is not the slightest reason to love” (p. 91). This obligation to love brings with it a field of tension, as it offers stability on the one hand, but can also generate stress and emotional conflict on the other. The family functions as a solution to the double contingency of social relationships, but at the same time harbors the risk of excessive demands: “The system is sick and then throws out the suffering of individuals” (p. 109). Fuchs succeeds in vividly portraying the ambivalence of the family as a unity of problem and solution, thereby clarifying its role in the construction of modern intimate systems.

Some readers may find the distanced and analytical style challenging, especially if they prefer a romanticized or simplistic view of love. However, Fuchs invites readers to understand love as a medium of communication structured by specific social and cultural codes. This sober, almost technical view may seem unfamiliar, but it opens up profound insights into the construction of modern intimate systems and thus in turn offers numerous scopes for freedom that can be made fruitful both individually and structurally.

Conclusion

Peter Fuchs’ Liebe, Sex und solche Sachen is an insightful examination of modern love from a systems theory perspective. The book provides a well-founded analysis that views love and intimacy not as fixed “things” but as dynamic, communicatively constructed phenomena. Fuchs offers a sober but in-depth analysis of the social and cultural mechanisms that shape modern intimate systems and sheds light on the susceptibility to crisis and structural complexity of romantic relationships. The students' questions, which are taken up at the beginning of each lecture, are another of the book's strengths.

Ultimately, he comes to the conclusion that love is not a firmly defined thing, but a practice shaped by communication and social conditions. Romantic love as a system of intimacy is not a measurable state, but a concept that lives through social attributions and personal experiences and is constantly changing. Overall, Fuchs shows that love is less an individual experience than a complex, socially constructed phenomenon that depends on the communication structures and cultural framework conditions of society.

For readers who are prepared to look at love from a supposedly 'unromantic', analytical perspective, this work offers valuable insights and food for thought. Love, Sex and Stuff Like That is an exciting contribution to the sociology of intimacy and is particularly suitable for readers with an interest in systems theory and sociological approaches. Peter Fuchs concludes: “I don't think there really is a serious answer to the question: What is love? Rather to the question: How does love work and how does it function? Why do you need to know that? [...] You study to get this information, not as truths, but as alternative ways of assessing social situations. The price of studying social science subjects is precisely to obtain gains in reflection and distance that exclude naivety.” (S. 116). Gaining knowledge also always invites students to recognize and use their own scope for freedom.